The Light, the Love

I sat in the Christ Presbyterian Church yesterday as the lights went dark and children dressed as shepherds, sheep, and angels squirmed in their seats.  Prior to yoga teacher training, I started to go to this church, seeking. It has been a year of searching for deeper meanings and for the common threads in faiths and philosophies that might bind us as humans together. So often, I only see the desperate clinging to the differences, the dogmatic sticking points that drive a stake in the heart of unity. 

In the darkness of the vast space with its slanted ceiling and assorted seekers, candles were lit one by one. First, one was lit with the word hope; then, one with peace; then, one with love. And as the pastor beseeched us all to find the light and love within and without, I didn’t find this to be so different from the messages of yoga in my yoga teacher training. And isn’t that what we are all trying to do? To find the light and the love?

One by one we each lit our candles and held them high while the choir sang silent night, and I thought of how hard it is to find the silence necessary to hear oneself, and how easy it is to see light against the darkness. I’m not the first to think this thought, of course, in fact, the sermon was largely about that. 

As the pastor talked about what is born in darkness, in this case – light, the light of the stars, the light of a particular star that led the seekers to the one who in this faith represents love, grace, forgiveness – and I would argue unity even if that’s not how some people preach it – I thought about the dark times in my own life. 

So often, I have found myself in the dark, looking for the light. Instead of sitting still, I thrash around, sometimes making it impossible. I search for the light instead of sitting still and seeing it brilliant against the sky, leading me. I let myself flail. I blind myself.

This imagery of a star that guides is powerful ,and I’d forgotten it. And it reminded me for a moment of tarot cards, of the Star Card. I love this card; when I see it, I have this sensation that everything in life is going to be okay. I know it’s superstitious and no, I’m not a tarot reader. I’m a person who has always wanted there to be something bigger than me, something that makes sense. I know that tarot cards are built on archetypes, and I draw them sometimes to make myself think. 

Sometimes I pray first and ask God to send me a thought. I recognize that even the I’m probably mashing a lot of faiths and rituals together that generally separate. I’m okay with that. 

Anyhow, when I look up the meaning of this card it’s all about hope, faith, celestial mandates, connecting with divine purpose, healing and renewal.  I think it’s a fitting message for Christmas as well, whatever you believe. Christmas reminds us that among the humans, there is also the divine, that we can find love, peace, joy and hope not just today, but every day and that if we stay still in the time of darkness, we can not only see but hear the light. We can find the star that guides us.

I’ll close with another quote this time – a quote from a peacemaker that I have always loved.

“Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.” ― Mahatma Gandhi